Earthquakes and Spider Monkeys

So here in California, earthquakes are nothing new. In recent months, they have started occurring as often as I change my underwear. That is often, trust me! They have become as common and annoying as that weird friend you have. You know the one you’re not sure why your friends with her but you just can’t seem to get away from her. She keeps popping up everywhere like a bad Freddy Kruger movie, startling you so bad you might pee your pants a little but you don’t want anyone to know so you laugh it off like it was no big deal. You are stuck with her, just like we Californians are stuck with earthquakes. Which leads me to the specific reason for this recent blog post. Students everywhere have been brushing up on their earthquake survival skills and practicing their under the desk drills. At home, we have even been fortunate enough to dive under our dining room/kitchen table during two of these unexpected brain rattles. My oldest has been affected by these events the most. Between having parents yelling at him to get under the table, learning about the dreaded BIG ONE at school, and hearing about all the disaster zones around the world, he has developed quite a fear of the rockin’ and rollin’ most native Californians take with a grain of salt. (Annoying friend, remember?) Are you wondering what this has to do with spider monkeys yet? I’m getting there, trust me, it is worth the build-up! So last night, just after bedtime, we had another 5.7 earthquake, pretty close to home. It shook us quick and hard and startled even my hubby who jumped up off the couch where he was pretending to watch the news but was really snoring lightly with a burgeoning trail of drool. I heard my oldest start yelling so I started for his room first to calm him down. Now I should have known from the sound that was coming from the depths of his dark room that this was no ordinary yelling. It was more like the sound someone makes when you startle them really bad. Like a cross between a yell, wailing, and hysterical crying. Ignoring this warning in my head, I preceded to rush into the room where he was still yelling to find him on the top rung of his bunk bed trying to come down. At this point you should put down your tasty beverage; this is your only warning. As I called to him that I was here and not to worry, everything was okay, mommy was here to save the day, he turned and like a deranged spider monkey on steroids, launched all 74lbs. of himself at me. Thanks to my quick reflexes, I punched him in the face and prevented further disaster to my persons. Okay, I’m just kidding. What really happened is I somehow caught this creature in my arms without actually falling or tweaking any important part of my anatomy. In hindsight, I now realize he was still in the throes of half-asleep dreamland in which events in the real world, affect your dream world. You know like when you doze in the car and hubby hits a really big bump just so he can laugh when you jump straight up flinging your arms in the air because in your dream, you just fell over the side of a cliff. But I digress, I will probably be laughing about this forever and now I will call my poor emotionally stunted child “Spider Monkey”.